Monthly Archives: December 2010

The Top Ten Excuses for Getting Drunk New Year’s Eve

Drink out the old, drink in the new! Americans of all stripes have plenty excuses for overindulgence as the first decade of the new millennium draws to an end. Of course, depending on your ups and downs in that great … Continue reading

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Top Ten Excuses for Getting Drunk at the Office Christmas Party

10. The “How could I know?” excuse. 9. The “Holiday spirit” excuse. 8. The “Truth will set you free” excuse. 7. The “Team-building” excuse. 6. The “What were photo copiers made for?” excuse. 5. The “Beer goggles” excuse. 4. The … Continue reading

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Top Ten Excuses for the Cloud of Irrationality Surrounding Wikileaks

10. The “Little Dutch Boy” excuse. The Dutch Police, after putting an untried 16-year-old boy into 13 days official detention in the aftermath of Operation Payback: Oh, there’s no doubt in our minds. That little teen we busted is the … Continue reading

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Top Ten Excuses for the U.S. Senate Not Knowing a Food Safety Bill from a Hole in the Constitution

10. The “We were just too busy Christmas shopping” excuse. Do you even have any idea how many people are on my list? Spouse and kids and parents and in-laws and ex- and ex-in-laws (well, at least the influential ones) … Continue reading

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The Top Ten Excuses for Republicans to Hold Unemployment Benefits Hostage in order to Maintain Tax Cuts for the Rich

10. The “Polish up my résumé” excuse. None of us are getting any younger. One of these years we’re going to need to get ourselves real jobs in private industry. That’s where the money is, you know. Well, we know, … Continue reading

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Top Ten Excuses From Those Named in Wikileaks’ ‘Cablegate’

10. The “Our Sons of Bitches” Excuse: U.S. State Department to Germany, warning them not to arrest CIA agents who kidnapped an innocent German and flew him to Afghanistan: “Well, it’s not a warning, really. It’s certainly not a threat, … Continue reading

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